seekinghaven (seekinghaven) wrote,

An experience of living... (written October 4th, 2009)

There is an experience of living that I want and need and seek and have -- and I do not wish to lose sight/touch with it. It is difficult to put into words, but might be partially expressed as an ongoing sense of connection with all things, all beings -- as really living. It is all too easy to focus on some small piece of "reality", even a potentially helpful, desirable aspect or part of living, and lose track of the whole of "really living" that the distracting part is supposed to serve.

Common examples include focusing on making money (so that we can "afford" the "good life") to such an extent that we sabotage ourselves, leaving no room for really living. Or planting such a huge garden with such a focus on some quality such as "perfection" or "correctness" that its care, harvesting, processing the harvest, etc. become an overwhelming burden that eclipses rather than forms a part of living an authentic, connected whole life. Or collecting too many animals, or too much stuff, or too many appointments, or obligations or debts...

There are so many ways to sabotage ourselves and lose track of the very experience of living, our truest way of being in the world, that is our deepest and most heart-felt, truly needed goal!

Here in this tiny RV, situated on a corner of Fae Hollow, though in transition and officially homeless, Lee and I are closer to an ongoing experience of really living than we have been in a long time.

It is a very, very good thing.

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